"Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing."

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Eagle Eye Turner



After graduation, I joined the Air Force, for no other reason than to get the hell out of  my home town.  I was sick of being poor, I had been to California, twice, I wanted to go back there, fast.  I had two options, due to my involvement in the Upward Bound program, I actually had a chance to attend college in California, my rather lackadaisical academic performance in high school not being as big a hindrance as I thought it would be.

Although college was appealing, the thought of being broke ass and home sick in Claremont, Ca. was too much to bear.  I had also applied at Western New Mexico Univ., but the thought of being broke ass and home sick in Silver City  was even worse. 

So it was that SSgt. John Turner, USAF, called  and asked to meet with me. I did, and soon I was on my way to El Paso, Tx. to enlist....in the Navy. SSgt. Turner not having convinced me that the Air Force was where I should be. 

Upon arriving at the recruitment center in El Paso, I reported to the Naval recruiter, who seemed somewhat uninterested, he told me to have a seat.  I was sitting in the hallway, when who happens along but John Turner, "What......the hell are you doing here?" he asked, "Joining the Navy, Sir" I answered, he sat down next to me, "You're making a huge mistake" he looked at me, then asked "Son, do you like pussy?" to which I stammered "Yes, Sir" Turner looked at me "You realize that on a Naval ship you'll be stuck with a bunch of cocksuckers for six months at a time?" I honestly had not thought about that,  SSgt.Turner smiled, the hook was in "Son, can you swim?" (I was raised in the arid wasteland of New Mexico) "Not very well, Sir" I answered.  He slapped his knee and said "Then why do you want to get on a god damn boat!" I couldn't argue with that logic (Of course, I can't fly either, so why would I get on an airplane) "Follow me to my office" thirty minutes later I'm enlisted in the Air Force.  

Meanwhile, the Naval recruiter comes out of his office looking for me "Step in here Son and sign the papers" I sheepishly replied "I just enlisted in the Air Force" after that all hell breaks loose.  The Naval recruiter yells out to his buddies "God Damn Son of a Bitch, fucking Turner poached another one of our guys" as the swabs poured out of their cubicles, I slowly eased myself down the hallway, staying close to the wall.  They stood there with hate in their eyes as one yelled out "Fuck you Turner" a swab with greasy black hair pointed to Turner "You'll pay for this you son of a bitch" he then turned towards me and snarled "Fuck you, chickenshit" 

SSgt. Turner motioned me over to his doorway, "Brush it off, Son" he handed me two meal vouchers for the buffet at the hotel we were staying at "You made the right choice, as you can plainly see, these are not the people you want to spend the next four years with."  

Flash forward to May, there's a knock at the door, I answer, it's Eddie Torres and a girl who's name I don't recall "Hi, we're here to take you to Silver City for a tour of the campus" my mouth dropped open, Eddie continued "We'll help you get enrolled and start working on your financial aid" I finally spoke "Uh, I already enlisted in the Air Force, I leave for basic in two weeks" Eddie's mood suddenly soured,  he spoke "That's messed up man, you could have let us know, we worked hard to get you into school"  I didn't know what to say, finally I blurted out "I need money they'll pay me."  They turned and walked away shaking their heads, I half expected Eddie to turn around and yell "fuck you chickenshit", chalk up another one for Eagle Eye Turner, that double poaching son of a bitch.