"Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing."

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

The Great Firewall of China

The Soviets, with their Tonka truck technology could never bury us, all along the real threat came from the Chinese.  In the early 1970's, Chinese engineers invented the internet and online chat rooms, recently a defector smuggled out transcripts of some of the first messages ever sent. These missives give us a rare glimpse behind The Great Firewall of China. In  1978, Mine Yor-Tung (Mao's nephew and head of Communications and Technology) defected to the U.S. and sold all Chinese computer secrets to Paul Allen & Bill Gates. He now makes his home in Corrales, where his neighbors know him as Mike.  Meanwhile, The Russians are still tweaking their first desktop PC, which comes with a mid tower case made of pre-fab concrete. Nyet..I know what you're thinking, but it's lightweight concrete.

Mine: a suggestion for your book Chairman
Title: The Pack
The frontrunners wear haughty smirks on their faces, the middle of the pack grimaces with fierce determination, while those bringing up the rear display glowing smiles
Mao: Bleh!!...lol... it needs more work
Mao: I came up with this one
Title: Glory Hounds
The running dog lackeys of the imperial class, grow tired of kibble
they chase rickashaws into cupboards, hoping to get just a nibble
stupid mongrels 
they scratch at their master's door
On their hind quarters they beg for more
stupid mongrels
Mao: What do you think Mine...funny--Yes? 
Mine: crickets....
Mao: What?
Mine:  JK..Chairman....Funny-Yes!!!
Mine: Yes..Yes..Yes (I'm bowing as I send this)

Mao:  Hey Mine! get me the Gang of Four
Mine: Which Ones?
Mao: The first two albums... everything after that sucked ass..LMAO!!
Mao: Hey Mine!
Mine: What!!
Mao: Your mama so dumb, she thinks eggrolls come from chickens
Mine: Chairman...my mother is dead...you had her killed along with all the other capitalist    roadsters when you took power!!
Mao: So...Sorry! Mr. Sensitive 
Mine: thank you Chairman
Mao: thread killer  
Mao: Hey Mine! ... All the tea in Formosa!!
Mine: lol
Mao: Hey Mine! Where's my little red book
Mine: Next to your bed Chairman
Mao: Have you read it?...huh...red it... 
Mine: Good One and yes I have...  : P

Mao: Hey Mine! The Taiwanese are very good at baseball, are we good at baseball?
Mine: We suck dick for skittles at baseball   : ( 
Mao: How about basketball?
Mine: lol... good one...
Mao: We are good in kung fu ... right?
Mine: Only movie stars in Hong Kong actually know kung fu 
Mao: Is Bruce Lee Korean?
Mine: He's Chinese
Mao: cool : )
Mao: what are we good at?
Mine: ping-pong  : )
Mao: That's it?
Mao: F**k Me  : P

Mao: Hey Mine! have the Navy lob a few shells at Taiwan
Mine: Why?
Mao: Why Not!!!
Mine: LMAO!!    XO (that's my o-face)
Mao: Hey Mine! My ass and Richard Nixon
Mine: What?
Mao: Can you tell the difference?
Mine: Frankly...I can't.... : )
Mao: Hey Mine! what's my favorite color?
Mine: Red
Mao: Yes it is!    : ) 

* Yes, I realize the Gang of Four (both the political clique and the band) didn't surface until after Mao's death.

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