"Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing."

Friday, May 13, 2011

Blog This

I'm no expert but I have learned a thing or two about blogging, 1. There are millions of them out there  2. Nobody really likes to read anymore  3. the majority of blogs are written by women with children who want to record every minor detail about their upbringing. 

Even the most mundane of these blogs have 40-50 followers, family are automatically obligated to follow as are co-workers and hubby's co-workers and their wives. It's a captive audience, and you see the goofiest god damn children on those sites. You were thinking it, but I said it, it's like playing Blogger roulette, click on the "next blog" feature and I bet you dollars to donuts that you land on a picture of freaky looking kids blowing out birthday candles.

It's a passive aggressive way of saying "My kids are more adorable than yours" or "Our lives are better than yours and I have proof."  It reminds me of the scene in Angela's Ashes, where the neighbor lady stands at her doorstep calling her kids home "Come get yer mutton stew, mint jelly, biscuits and tea" while the McCourts stand there with their stomachs growling.

Fuck 'em,  when you start writing a blog there are two ways to go: you can assume that everybody will read it and format your writing along that those lines (cheery, hopeful, funny, sincere) This approach does restrict what you can write, if Aunt Tillie and Uncle Joe might read it than cuss words are forbidden. Also if you wake up one morning hating your life or you've fallen into a pit of despair, stay away from the keyboard. You must avoid any mention of race, politics or religion (unless you belong to the LDS church) crossing those lines could have dire consequences in the workplace or with your co-workers. 
The other approach is to assume that nobody will ever read your blog, so you can write whatever you want. I use swear words on my blog, many bloggers do, in my case I don't do it to offend or shock, it's just the bi-product of having grown up and worked with people who swear out of habit.  Starting at 12 years old when I spent a summer working with a crusty World War II vet, who introduced me to this classic "God Damn It! I just fucked myself and didn't even get a kiss." he had hundreds of wise sayings like that. That's pretty bold stuff for a 12 year old kid, it wasn't long before I was repeating everything he said. Serving in the military and many long years working construction didn't help, watching every single episode of Trailer Park Boys, Deadwood and The Wire only added fuel to the fire.  

I manage three different blogs, the one that I use the most swear words on is the most popular by a long stretch, the one where I never and I mean NEVER, swear is the one that nobody reads. Unless you are steadfast and determined about your purpose for blogging, do not use the stat counter, Blogger has that feature and there are other counters available. When the number of total views sits at 12 for two months, it might be discouraging, on the other hand if  you start racking up some crazy numbers, it can be exhilarating. 

The down side to having lots of views and followers is the pressure that starts to build when you don't post anything. My remedy is to keep a backlog of stories and articles in reserve for that week or month that I just don't feel like writing. Statistics show that 1 out of every 3 blogs will be abandoned within a year, if it becomes too much of chore, just delete it, life will go on.  

Pick your theme with care, blogging about how wonderful your kids and family are is acceptable, blogging about how wonderful you are is not. The sleaziest blogging trend I've found so far is on Networked Blogs, there people troll for followers, "Follow me and I'll follow you back" which of course leads to messages like this "Ok I followed you, now follow me back", "I'm following you, but you are not following me", "Why are you not following me?, we agreed, I follow you, you follow me!" I'm not making this up, this was from an actual forum at Networked Blogs. This spirited discourse involved an angry African man and god know who else, maybe I've missed something here, could it be that whomever has the most followers wins?  

"What? You seek something? You wish to multiply yourself tenfold, a hundredfold? You seek followers? Seek zeros!"  Friedrich Nietzsche                            


  1. Ok so in reading I couldn't help but think of Bob I used to think wow this guy can cuss lol looking back he had a gray impact on my wanting to cuss. When Tanya was out to sound like it was the most important thing I could possibly be doing i'd tell her I'm blogging leave me be but all I was doing was b.sing on facebook. Do what you do is what I gather from this blog just do it well

  2. As Confucius would say: Bob Frey seemed a bit confused about most things, f**k him!